adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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