no, he came in my armpit
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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