I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
