Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
