I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize