Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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