And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
