Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
