Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
