I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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