note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
