Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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