I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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