I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
