Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize