i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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