we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
