she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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