Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
