3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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