TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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