Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
