If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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