He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
