You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
