Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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