I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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