Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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