i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Randomize
