Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
