I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
