you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
