Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
