my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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