In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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