I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Randomize