you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
