using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
