I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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