I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
