Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
After tacos, we're chasing women.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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