Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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