life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
