Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
