I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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