So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
