Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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