My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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