If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
