I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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