Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
