girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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