She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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