We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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