I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
