After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
