I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
