Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
