His pubic hair was longer than his dick
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
