Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize