i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
