Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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